Thursday, January 16, 2014

What If I Lost My Marbles????

My grandmother spent the last years of her life in a nursing home. She was located in a unit specifically for those suffering from Alzheimers disease. It was a very nice facility and all individuals with behavior issues were in an entirely separate unit.
This meant that when visiting my grandma all of those surrounding her were pleasantly to extremely confused, but easy to be around. I always found it fascinating how you could catch glimmers of who they were when they were well. My grandma giggled a lot and her eyes danced with mischief. For a long time she batted her baby blues at all the men around her, shared dinners with them and laughed at their obvious, charming hilarity. She’d pour over magazines full of Elvis pictures in awe at what a dream boat he was.

Others sang constantly in languages I couldn’t understand. Another gal continually wrote columns and columns of numbers and she asked you to check her work. Another always smiled and was brimming full of extremely sweet compliments while occasionally venting about her son who’d been out all night and hadn’t bothered to call.

I do pray I live to be old and healthy and die quickly and quietly avoiding the whole run in the nursing home. If this wish doesn’t occur then I hope I’m not on the Alzheimers ward, I hope I still have my mind even if this body fails me. Sometimes I ponder that if I’m unlucky enough to follow in my grandmother’s footsteps what I will be like.
I think of what fills my mind consistently. Thoughts and habits that may end up permanently burned and lodged onto the grey matter ridges long after my brain has slowly started turning to rock.  I’m inclined to believe that I might be that little old lady wandering the halls trying to carry out my routine and schedule…..

I’m so very, very guided by my regular activities. I do much of the same thing week in and week out. I would be so easy and very, very boring to stalk.

I can see it now – Monday’s, Wednesday’s, Friday’s – towel day – bursting into the bathrooms changing towels and scrubbing toilets. Every other weekend clean the dishwasher, scale the coffee pot, oil the cutting boards. Every week wipe out the fridge and toss food that will soon be bad. The weekend closest to the 15th change the furnace filter. Every night prep coffee, sweep, touch up the bathroom. Wrap up the day with a candle lit bubble bath. Saturday mornings are for coffee and catching up on TV shows only I enjoy. So on and so forth – you get the idea!
Oh I think I may just drive the nurses mad – let’s pray for their sake I keep my wits about me!!!


  1. I'm a creature of habit too. I hope I never lose my brain. My body is already gone - my brain is all I have left :)

  2. You do realize you've already lost 'em

  3. Heh, sometimes people with Alzheimer's display what we sometimes thought might have been their dormant side that they rarely, if ever showed. Maybe yours will be dancing and singing down the halls as if you were in Glee? Maybe even in the nude!! Ha hah

  4. I think I have become creature of habit over time, as well! :)


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