I recently posted twice about some of my thoughts on being genuine, if you missed them and want to catch up check it out here and here.My first post talked about how we crave authenticity; how on some level we know when someone is being phony even if we don’t really know that we know. I posed some questions and had some thought provoking comments which led to my second post, where I questioned if being phony really ever worked and explored the self-centred aspect of being fake.
I’m happy with both those posts, I feel like they touched on some real honest points about being genuine as opposed to being counterfeit.However……
As I washed dishes last night I was given the gift of an important aspect I had entirely missed. It really was a slap upside the head only delivered in a gentle loving whisper. Ahhhh how sweet Grace is……
So as it seems to be my MO lately, I’m going to state this in a very black and white manner, because I really believe it to be so, I know in some cases it may be difficult to believe.We start with a very important question.
Why would an individual be phony, fake and work some magic formula?There is only one answer and it makes me sad.
They believe they aren’t enough.Whatever goal they are trying to achieve – whether it be business success, being a great parent, spouse, friend, being uber likeable etc. etc. - at their core they cannot believe that being authentic would work.
………That who they are would work………..So yes, they are focused on themselves as they carry on their act, but the root of it is, they don’t think they are good (smart, charming, funny, nice) enough.
Furthermore, this revelation changes my thoughts on being phony…. GULP…. I have been phony a lot more than I’d care to admit. We all have situations, especially in our younger days where we completely lacked the knowledge of who we were and what gifts God had given us and we didn’t believe we were good enough and we faked it to hopefully succeed.Okay, okay – I know, I know – let me reword the last bit of that paragraph….
I have been in situations, especially in my younger days where I completely lacked the knowledge of who I was and what Gifts God had given ME and I didn’t believe I was good enough and I faked it to hopefully succeed.Happy? Man you blog reading folks get demanding when a person starts spouting off about being authentic…. LOL!
Here’s a bit of the catch 22 with this whole revelation, the folks that are older and seem to have really mastered working the act to achieve their set of goals, don’t come off as individuals who believe they aren’t good enough. They often appear cocky to the point of being insufferable, as if they have bought their own press a little too often. In the moments when encountering these people, it is tough to feel sadness and empathy for them.Still I am firmly standing on the truth that they are acting on the foundational belief that who they really are wouldn’t work.
At least today I’m firmly standing on this truth – waiting for another slap upside the head to tell me how off base I’ve been…………………..