I looked up the definition and here is what I found…
1. Actually possessing the alleged or apparent attribute or character
2. Not spurious or counterfeit; authentic
3. Honestly felt or experienced.
4. Actual; real.
5. Free from hypocrisy or dishonesty; sincere.
I want to roll my eyes at myself whenever sayings such as authentic self or intentional living roll through my brain. They have become such buzz words in society that they feel phony and fake to me, which is ironic.
Still I believe the buzz has grown because we are hungry for the real deal. As a society we want and need people to be genuine.
I have a handful of casual acquaintances in my life and I just can’t decide if I liked them or not. Sometimes I walk away after time spent with them and think yes I really do like this person and then other times the feeling isn’t nearly as positive. I’ve never had an altercation with any of them and I don’t dislike them, I just can’t decide if they are someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know better or if I know them well enough . Can you relate?
After some chit chatting with a dear friend and some good conversation with my wonderful Hubby it suddenly hit me like a lightning bolt.
What I’m sensing is that these people aren’t really being genuine. They are all working a “success formula”, reading people and moulding themselves to fit that situation, checking success tasks off their To Do list – be sure to thank the little guy, always stop and engage in small talk, etc. etc.
In the case of the three folks I’m thinking about it is a business success formula they are working and they are all successful – so I guess it works. After chatting to a lot of other people in my life about their thoughts on this, I’ve learned that a “success formula” isn’t only limited to business. That there are people working a “please like me formula” or an “I’m the world’s greatest mom formula” and so on and so forth. I wonder if they are as successful as the three folks I’m referring to are??I think this type of insincerity is different than a person using the best aspects of their personality to accomplish a desired goal. We all do that, at work, in group settings, when we’re volunteering and so and so forth. We are still being authentic. We aren’t trying to play a role to dupe someone into allowing us to maintain our success.
Do you think it’s different?
I’m pretty sure it is.
I believe we are so hungry for people to be real that we sense an individual who is working a formula right away. In the same way we sense when a hunk of meat is “off”. We don’t always have the words and it doesn’t mean we don’t like the person, truth be told we can’t know if we like them because we never know if we are seeing the real person.
I have a lot of thoughts that I’d like to explore in regards to this topic but I’d love to have some of your thoughts.Here is my list of questions, some I asked above, but I’ll ask them again….
Do you sense when someone isn’t being genuine?Do you think there is a difference between using parts of your personality to accomplish a goal and working a formula? Or is it all a rose by any other name and is it all phony and not genuine?
If working a “formula” produces successful results is it worth it? I mean the folks that you're “working” aren’t close to you anyway???Let’s see what all of your thoughts are – I really want to know!! This topic seems to be everywhere I turn so it’s obviously a big deal to folks today.
I hope you’re all having a great Wednesday!!