Wednesday, July 30, 2014

I'm Okay. You're Okay. We're all Okay!!


So I make some big announcement of how much I’ve missed blogging and how I’m back and then don’t post or check other posts for months?? What’s with that?
I don’t even really know the answer because I certainly have not ran out of opinions – I guess I got out of the habit – I often think I need to write, but then I just don’t.

I could give a pile of updates – but I’m just going to dive back into my regular thing and trust the updates will make their way through my thoughts.
So what thought to jump off with – gremlins, shoulding on ourselves – yeah the typical Blessed So and So stuff….

I’ve read two of Brene Brown’s books Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection. In that order.
So Daring Greatly I really, really liked right off the get go. I LOVED the whole idea of changing the goal. I’m all about motivation and intention. Why am I doing what I’m doing? What am I accomplishing?? Adding the intention “To Dare Greatly” or “Be Courageous” to my life is pretty cool and I like it a lot.

I also adored her whole bit about “being in the ring” – really immersing in life….
Yep it’s AMAZING that I liked this book, it’s one of the very few “buzz” books that I actually started and finished and felt there was a lot more valuable in it then gobbly goop. I’m not big on “buzz” anything….

So because I enjoyed that book I got the one she published before it – The Gifts of Imperfection.
I don’t believe I’m a perfectionist. I’m pretty good at embracing my imperfections and laughing with others as they delight in my shortcomings (in a good natured, loving way).

Of course I can beat myself up and feel unworthy. That happens to us all. However I was super blessed to have these two amazing parents – a father that truly believes I hung the moon and can do no wrong and a mother who is much more realistic, but always believed and encouraged me. So I really got a jump on the whole I’m worthy business.
Still those gremlins (as Brene calls them) can track us down no matter where we are. I read Brene’s book and I started out feeling pretty alright, when I closed the last page I was suddenly wrestling with a pile of questions. Am I perfectionist? Am I hustling for my worth? Does the fact that I like my house to be clean mean inside I’m an utter mess and all screwed up??? Why don’t I dance? Why do I sing really, really loud by myself or in church, but not anywhere else?? Oh no I’m all wrong! I need to lighten up! I need to be more fun! I’m too serious!  Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Then I stopped. I thought. I prayed.
So…………… I am a serious person. I’m not a dancer. It’s not that I’m pushing down some huge urge to dance and am worried about making a fool of myself I just don’t get the urge often. I mean I’ll bebop a bit here and there, but yeah full body – “Little Sis” style dancing it ain’t me. For real it’s just not me. I do love to sing, but I’m really, really, really bad – honestly this is not self-depreciation it’s fact. I do try and be considerate, it isn’t hustling for worthiness it’s just taking into account my loved ones enjoy songs too and they really don’t want my magpie style pipes drowning out the real music. So I sing by myself and in church - cause yeah that singing is for God and He doesn’t care that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket!!

I have a standard that I like my house and my yard. It’s for me. It truly is. I used to have other people’s standard’s in my head and I tried ever so diligently to clean to them and then I realized the stupidity in that and realized the only standard that matters is the four of us that live under our roof. I’d say my standard is the highest of the four of us and so I maintain that. It’s sort of crazy when I gave up trying to clean to someone else’s standard my house actually got cleaner. I’m not hustling, I’m happy.
After reading Brene’s book I examined how I felt as I puttered and cleaned in my kitchen after an impromptu roast chicken dinner with my folks. Yep I really wasn’t hustling. I was honest to goodness just joyful and content.

So here’s when it hit me. It’s the whole adage – straight haired gals want beautiful ringlets, curly cues want straight as an arrow locks. Serious people think they should lighten up. Lighter people think they should be more serious.
The gremlins will meet you wherever you are.

We do have natural tendencies and when we aren’t on track and we all fall off track more than once it’s likely going to match up with our natural tendencies. When I’m hiding and not dealing with life I’m going to work more, clean harder, and get buried in the efficiency of distractive doing.  While I have a dear, carefree friend who is likely to go out on the town, take a vacation when she shouldn’t, let franticness run rampant when she’s not doing well.
It looks different, but gremlins are gremlins.

I need to stop shoulding. I laugh a lot. I’m content and happy. I’m not super, duper goofy. I’m not a street dancer or singer. Conversations with me tend to naturally move toward heavier and deeper.

That’s Okay. I’m okay.
Sure sometimes I think what’s wrong with me why can’t I just giggle about a great looking Matthew Mcconaughey?? I admire his handsome looks, but I don’t get giddy.

I’m not dead so even though I’m head over heels in love with this amazing man who I think is soooo good looking and delicious.

I can see that this Matthew Maconaughey ain’t so bad either….

Still…even though I admire I can’t seem to spend much time idly chatting about him.
The truth is, we all have our own tool boxes and our own sweet spots; we need to settle in to who we are – get outta town ya nasty gremlins!!!

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I've Missed You!!!


So my break lasted longer than I actually thought it would.
I miss you guys! I really do! I miss writing here. I have a billion thoughts and ideas floating around. A million conversations that I’ve had, thoughts in my head that I know need to bounce off my blog friends!  

I’m not putting pressure on myself to post at minimum three times a week like I did before, but I have a feeling I will be around a lot more than I have been the last bit.
As for the project Ma and I are working on – it’s slow going, I haven’t tossed it aside though – I hope she hasn’t either.

Even though I have a billion things I could write up – typical Blessed So and So thoughts I’m just going to make this an updating post – I don’t typically like to just throw out update posts – I mean really who cares, but it will give me a jumping off place as I get back in the blogging groove!

We have been fruitful as a family. Not exciting, but fruitful. Had some big sausage making days – once with deer meat and once with pork meat. Both batches turned out fantastic! We found some great pork at a great price so it makes a big difference! We mix our deer meat with pork for sausage.
We watched a bunch of basketball – both girls played this year so we spent a lot of time sitting in various gyms.

A committee I sit on put on the first of many events planned this year. The village I live in is turning 50 in 2014 so there are several celebrations planned. The first was a Winter Carnival and there were some glitches, but overall it was fairly well received. We are in the works of planning our next event - Canada Day and putting together a time capsule which is very exciting!!

My cousin celebrated her 40th birthday, we attended a surprise party for her and it was really nice. There is a bunch of history with that side of the family so it was such a blessing to just be able to hang out in their kitchen and chit chat.

Hubby helped two friends with taxidermy, teaching them the ropes. I swear Hubby’s garage is some sort of happy place vortex – everyone seems to enjoy themselves when they are in there. Or… maybe it has something to do with the amazing guy I married and not the place on the earth the garage sits! Hubby also did a paid taxidermy project, one of the few he ever does for pay and a small one for himself.
A super great charity that Hubby and I have helped with for quite some time had their big once a year fundraiser – a big curling tournament (Bonspiel) where the payout is in meat. It’s such a fun event. We only were able to help out two nights and missed the big Saturday which was a bit disappointing but Little Sis had basketball zones. The charity we help with is all about seeing that kids who can’t afford to play sports are given the opportunity. So it would be pretty bad if we missed our kid playing a sport as we helped other kids be able to play sports. The two nights we helped were a lot of fun though and we were able to see some old friends that we never get to see!!  
My boss retired. I was concerned – I’ve worked since I was 14 and I’ve NEVER had a bad boss – I was worried I was due. A co-worker ended up getting promoted and so far it’s been working out great. Happy dance!  

Hubby and I were super blessed to be able to attend a dinner put on by friend’s hunting club. We had such a great evening with great friends AND hubby got to meet Cody Robins – a BIG deal in the hunting world. He got is picture with the current muley world record. Also Hubby was pretty tickled and I was pretty proud – Cody Robins had heard of Hubby and another fellow literally chased us out to the parking lot to meet Hubby because he was so excited to be able to chat with him and had missed his opportunity. It was pretty darn cool!

We spent a weekend smoking salmon which was also fun and tasty!!

Easter went well, a smaller crowd then typical but delightful. Little Sis’s birthday was last week – she’s 14 so it isn’t a big production like when she was younger. Cake and coffee on Saturday and this weekend she’s having some friends over to hang out and do teenage girl things.
Soccer has also kicked into full gear for us. Hubby is coaching Little Sis again and is the field manager which means plenty of line painting for the next handful of weeks. He loves it though. This is Big Sis’s last year of soccer which feels strange. Also have nieces and a nephew playing so if you’re looking for me I’ll be watching soccer J!

Over Easter weekend we had a really GREAT supper with wonderful friends, Hubby helped them install a dishwasher and in exchange they gave us a hutch – I adore it!! It was so sweet of them. Again we are blessed!!
I actually got ALL of my spring cleaning done this year which is amazing. I’ve lived in my house for soon to be nine years and I have never actually finished spring cleaning. I have a bunch of seedlings popping up – in fact some are too big and I need to transplant them. Have a very good start on the yard and finally it is looking much more like spring then it once was – Woooo Hooo!!!

Oh I get to keep my job for another year – I’m a year to year contract so there is always the chance it won’t be renewed, but I signed on the dotted line yesterday so things are good there.
The other BIG exciting thing coming up in just over a week is Big Sis’s grad. It seemed so far away when she moved in and in all honesty there has been more than once I wondered if she’d still be living at home when this time came, but things are much better than they once were – it’s been a journey that’s for sure, but here we are…. Well almost anyway.

A community project Hubby and I have been picking away at with a group of really great guys is all coming to fruition tonight. It’s the big meeting that the project gets announced to the community. I sure hope it’s received well and all goes well.
Well that in a brief nut shell is what I’ve been up to for the last three months – like I said my desire is this update gets the ball rolling that I can get back to bombarding you all with my crazy thoughts!! I suppose I’m going to have to give some follow up updates – on grad, the community meeting and how the future 50th anniversary celebrations go. That’s okay I suppose some updates are okay. J

I sure hope this finds you all doing really, really well!!! It’s nice to be back!!!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Maybe... A Break???

Well blogging buddies…..

I’m going to try taking a break from this blog for a bit….
We shall see how long that lasts I often get a burning desire to write and I can’t help myself and so in all honesty that could happen tomorrow, but I’m not going to make it a priority for the next while or maybe longer than the next while.

I tend to have a lot of irons in the fire and I came up with an idea and Ma and I would like to pursue this one and see where it goes. I am an idea gal, always scheming and not too often producing so enough is enough!!!
So if you don’t hear from me nothing is wrong, nothing at all and then if you do…. Well you do!

To my blogging friends – please e-mail me of facebook message me from time to time and I will still try and make time to read some blogs.
Gosh I do wonder how long this will last, I’ve been blogging a long time… longer than I’ve known Hubby and that seems like a lifetime ago. I tend to look at the world with the mindset of what I can blog about!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Jamie's Crying AGAIN......

Sooooo – I’m emotional….

Like really emotional…..

My baby sister always said the sensitive guy off the movie Bedazzled starring Brendan Fraser – reminded her of me….
Below is a clip – it’s long so I get it if you don’t want to watch it, but if you’ve got time on your hands it gives you an idea…




The dumbest things make me cry.

So Saturday evening we had spent a really nice day hanging out in a gym watching Little Sis play basketball – her team got third and all in all it was a day full of contentment.   
Driving home I was admiring the sunset, thinking it was nice enough… I actually had a line of thinking something like – “Yeah God it’s nice, but I have to say I prefer your sunrises better.”

Literally less than five minutes later we crested a hill and were greeted by something very, very similar to this.
This picture was taken Saturday night in Calgary – we weren’t in Calgary, but it looked this amazing and more.
I started tearing up immediately it felt like I was having a conversation with God….like I had my thought and God said well I’ll show you amazing.
Hubby had a good laugh at my expense as he usually does!!!
Sometimes I marvel at how retarded I am….
I hope you all are having a great week so far!! Happy Tuesday!
 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

What If I Lost My Marbles????


My grandmother spent the last years of her life in a nursing home. She was located in a unit specifically for those suffering from Alzheimers disease. It was a very nice facility and all individuals with behavior issues were in an entirely separate unit.
This meant that when visiting my grandma all of those surrounding her were pleasantly to extremely confused, but easy to be around. I always found it fascinating how you could catch glimmers of who they were when they were well. My grandma giggled a lot and her eyes danced with mischief. For a long time she batted her baby blues at all the men around her, shared dinners with them and laughed at their obvious, charming hilarity. She’d pour over magazines full of Elvis pictures in awe at what a dream boat he was.

Others sang constantly in languages I couldn’t understand. Another gal continually wrote columns and columns of numbers and she asked you to check her work. Another always smiled and was brimming full of extremely sweet compliments while occasionally venting about her son who’d been out all night and hadn’t bothered to call.

I do pray I live to be old and healthy and die quickly and quietly avoiding the whole run in the nursing home. If this wish doesn’t occur then I hope I’m not on the Alzheimers ward, I hope I still have my mind even if this body fails me. Sometimes I ponder that if I’m unlucky enough to follow in my grandmother’s footsteps what I will be like.
I think of what fills my mind consistently. Thoughts and habits that may end up permanently burned and lodged onto the grey matter ridges long after my brain has slowly started turning to rock.  I’m inclined to believe that I might be that little old lady wandering the halls trying to carry out my routine and schedule…..

I’m so very, very guided by my regular activities. I do much of the same thing week in and week out. I would be so easy and very, very boring to stalk.

I can see it now – Monday’s, Wednesday’s, Friday’s – towel day – bursting into the bathrooms changing towels and scrubbing toilets. Every other weekend clean the dishwasher, scale the coffee pot, oil the cutting boards. Every week wipe out the fridge and toss food that will soon be bad. The weekend closest to the 15th change the furnace filter. Every night prep coffee, sweep, touch up the bathroom. Wrap up the day with a candle lit bubble bath. Saturday mornings are for coffee and catching up on TV shows only I enjoy. So on and so forth – you get the idea!
Oh I think I may just drive the nurses mad – let’s pray for their sake I keep my wits about me!!!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Going to Bed Together....


Hubby might end up with a swelled head.
Hubby is always bugging me about my theories, truth is he has some theories of his own, he just doesn’t spew them as regularly as I do.

He’s got some ideas of what it takes to have a great marriage and we are happy and he’s a pretty fantastic husband so I do suppose at least most of his theories might be correct.

One he’s said since before we were even married is that couples that go to bed together at the same time are happier. He believes that pillow talk and that time together is extremely important.

I’ve always went along with this theory because I do enjoy going to bed at the same time as him and after all these years it has become a well established habit and feels odd when we don’t.

Still I always expressed my doubts about his theory. Not one couple that we know and have asked consistently go to bed at the same time and they all seem happy. Hubby says they COULD be happier..... I always laugh.

Then the other day on Facebook someone posted this list…. Notice what number one is??? Yeah Hubby might just get a swelled head!!!

A Psychology Today article by LA psychiatrist Mark Goulston stated that if you regularly take one item from the below list and consistently practice it in your relationship you will be a happier couple over time. Above all, he recommends that you practice listening and 'be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable'.

Here's his list of 10 habits to cultivate to become a happier couple. How many do you already practice in your relationship?

1.      Go to bed at the same time

This might seem easy at the beginning of a relationship, but as time goes by it becomes easier to drift apart and this can become one of the symptoms of living separate lives. Resisting the temptation to go to bed at different times gives the opportunity for touch and sexual excitement as well.

2.      Cultivate common interests

Don't underestimate the importance of doing activities together. Happy couples that don't have common interests make the time and effort to cultivate them. This isn't to say that you shouldn't cultivate your own interests as this keeps you from becoming too dependent and keeps you interesting to your mate.

3.      Walk hand in hand or side by side
Happy couples prioritize being together over their own interests. That means that they are willing to match each other's pace. Must be a metaphor in there somewhere.

4.      Make trust and forgiveness your default mode

Happy couples chose trust and forgiveness, even in the face of disagreements that can't be fully resolved. This keeps walls from building up that prevent intimacy.

5.      Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong

In the same way that you can always find something negative if you look for it, happy couples know that you can choose to focus on the positive.

6.      Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work

Points of contact become points of intimacy. When you keep 'good touch' as a key part of your relationship, it helps you to let your day go and move into time together.

7.      Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning

This sets up the day in a positive way and also keeps your connection even as you go your separate ways.

8.      Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel

This communicates that the love that is the foundation of your relationship is more important than any disagreement or negative feelings you are experiencing towards each other. It reminds your partner that your relationship can withstand the trials and circumstances that may beset it.

9.      Do a “weather” check during the day

Checking in with your partner during the day is another contact point that also allows you to gauge where they're at and can prepare you to be sensitive to their feelings when you reconnect in person.

10.   Be proud to be seen with your partner

Happy couples like being seen together and communicate it in the way that they show affection in public. A simple touch of the hand on the shoulder, knee or back of the neck can go a long ways to showing that you belong together and are happy about it.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Hunting Haters

I don’t hunt. I don’t want to hunt. There are two main reasons for this.

First and foremost I find the entire process extremely unappealing. Getting up well before the birds, spraying dirt smell or worse deer urine on my body and then crawling on my belly for two hours across some field with the hopes of coming close enough to an animal, does NOT sound like my idea of fun! Then……….. if you are “lucky” enough to kill the animal you’ve just stalked the real work begins, gutting, dragging, skinning, butchering and so on and so forth, again this does NOT sound like a laugh riot to me. Of course there is tree stand or sitting in a blind hunting, this involves sitting still for hours without saying a word – can you guess why this method doesn’t thrill me either????
Yeah give me an early morning coffee, cuddled with my afghan and news shows any day! Or a nice long chat over yummy treats…. now that sounds like a good time!

The other reason I’m not a huntress is I am not in a mad hurry to kill another living creature. Yes the thought of shooting something doesn’t thrill or excite me.
Still, taking all of my thoughts on hunting into consideration does not mean I’m against the killing of animals. I just can’t be – I receive far too much enjoyment from bacon, rib eye steak, BBQ chicken, saucy, sloppy ribs and Shake N’ Bake chicken.

I eat meat. Anyone that eats meat can’t be against the killing of animals without being a complete hypocrite.

Maybe this is news to some folks, but the pig that supplied your tasty bacon didn’t live out a natural lifespan and then die peacefully in their sleep before showing up on your BLT.
In fact, most animals are treated in a fairly deplorable way before ending up on your plate. I’m not a farmer hater either and I understand that methods are practiced because the farmer needs to make a living. Still…..have you ever seen a pig barn, chicken barn or feed lot??? All environments are far from an ideal life for an animal.

Now I do understand being against poachers, hunters that chase and torture animals to death or trophy hunters that waste the meat. This is killing for the sake of killing.
For the sake of being transparent and because most of you can guess that my hunting Hubby does participate in coyote shooting, I will share that he does kill coyotes and gophers and no we don’t eat either.

I’m not upset by this, but I do see where someone could be. We live in a farming community and coyotes and gophers are pests and vermin, no different than a rat in your house. Farmers are constantly calling Hubby telling him areas that need to be controlled.

This rant was inspired by a collection of Hunting Haters that decided to attack Hubby on Twitter.
I 100% respect that many people don’t wish to see pictures of dead, bleeding animals. This is why I don’t post pictures of the girls or Hubby, as they pose with their latest kills. I don’t post them here and I almost never post them on Facebook. (I believe I made an exception for Hubby’s deer of a lifetime and the girls’ first successful hunts.) I write an annual Christmas letter and mail it out. Obviously a lot of the going ons at our house involve hunting and this is discussed in my letter and yes most of the really great family pictures are of Hubby, The girls and my Father in Law huddled around some dead, bleeding animal. I don’t include these pictures unless I can cut the dead animal out of the snap shot. I understand that people don’t expect to open a post from this Blessed So and So and see a deer, bloody with its tongue hanging out. Likewise they wouldn’t be poised for such a snap shot on my Facebook wall or in my Christmas card. This could be upsetting and offensive. We have numerous works of taxidermy art in our home and I try my best to warn people before they come over and I make it clear that I will not be offended if they choose not to come.

Hubby on the other hand is another story. If you are going to follow him on Facebook or Twitter you are going to see pictures of dead animals. It’s his life. His Twitter name is @muleyseeker – I think it’s pretty obvious what he’s tweeting about! If this upsets you then don’t follow him and don’t go perusing his Twitter pictures or Tweets. Use your head.
I think most people do use their head, but then there seems to be this group of anti-hunting folks, intentionally scanning Twitter to find avid hunters and then hate on them, calling them cowards and bad parents for teaching their children to murder.

For a short time hubby engaged with one of the fellows hurling insults and did discover he did eat meat, but are still really against hunting.
This puts a bee in my bonnet. I totally respect a person’s right to be against eating meat. I even totally respect those that eat meat, but are still disturbed by taxidermy and pictures of dead animals. What gets me shaking my head is people not doing the same and even worse actually trolling looking for someone like my Hubby to throw out crazy insults at.

They don’t know my guy from Adam and if they did I’m sure they would gain some measure of understanding. Hunting is not some sick hobby for him. He loves and lives for the outdoors. He is a major rule guy and never trespasses or takes an animal out of season. Yes he’s had bad shots and I’ve seen him chase a wounded deer for hours and days, getting little to no sleep. On top of that I’ve seen him chase wounded deer that another hunter shot! He is a huge believer in eating what we get, including the bear meat. He thanks God for providing for us and he’s a big time advocate for sharing the meat we have. We’ve given meat to people that find themselves in a tight spot on more than one occasion. We also share with those that just have a taste for wild meat, but don’t hunt.

Hubby is far, far, far from a coward or some of the other words he was called that I won’t repeat on here. You’d be hard pressed to find a man that works harder, is more stand-up, honest and full of integrity.
Isn’t having the right to have different beliefs one of the great rewards of living in a free country??? There are lifestyles that I disagree with, but if I were to intentionally seek individuals out that practice those lifestyles and then hurl insults at them I would be wrong. There are many hot topic lifestyles such as homosexuality that if I sought them out and hurled names at them I would be hung up for the crows to peck at. Somehow it’s different when a group of people that don’t know my Hubby, but disagree with his lifestyle decide to shoot around really mean spirited insults????

This drives me mad. Why can’t we all just respect each other????